Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Designated Driver Guide

Heres a real corker for yez. It happened about a year ago, reported by MSNBC. Buckle your seat belt:

Police in a Detroit suburb are crediting a good Samaritan with preventing an accident by calling 911 at 3 a.m. Saturday to report seeing a young child behind the wheel of a van as it pulled out of a gas station.

A 7-year-old is driving it and her dad is drunk and he's in the passenger side, the caller told a 911 dispatcher as he followed the van down West Road in the small community of Brownstown Township.

Shes got her turn signal on," he said. "Shes turning right."

At one point, the dispatcher asked, Is the vehicle staying on the road?

Shes driving pretty good, Im telling you, I cant believe it, said the witness, who was not identified.

Brownstown police were also stunned when an officer pulled the van over a few moments later. Behind the wheel of the full-sized panel work van was a young girl in a booster seat. Apparently, the child was still able operate the gas and the brakes, while seeing out of the front window, according to Detective Lt. Robert Grant.

Never Use a 7-Year Old

The problem with kids is that dont have a fracking drivers license. To be a good designated driver (DD) you have to know how to drive and have proof to show the cops if they stop you for going 300 miles over the speed limit to rush your buddies home. Then theres this:

Alert, Alive and Not Asleep
A good DD has not just been dumped by someone they love theyre emotionally frayed at the moment. They cant be tired or think they can multitask behind the wheel of a large automobile. They cannot bring you to-and-fro on a motorcycle. If youre all liquored-up and on the back of a bike, good chance youll slip off the seat. Falling off a moving vehicle can totally eff-up your day. And as the DD, you dont want someone puking all over your back when to hit a bump.

Feel the Love
Your best chum is more likely to give a crap about you than some gorilla you just bonded with at the bar because, like you, they like really like spicy beef jerky. The good DD is going to be compassionate enough to keep your hair out of the toilet and line-of-site when you heave up a 2-pound chunk of spicy beef jerky.

They Must Have a Clean Driving Record
Ex-DUIers are not the best DDs even when theyre sober.

Time Sensitive
Before you begin your night, everyone needs to agree on a time to say, Partys over. Its bad form to have someone in the clique refusing to leave. That simply means everyone has to wait. No one wants to have to roll-up the fool in a rug to get him in the SUV.

Just One Drink, OK? I Can Still Drive
As your DD, they cant touch the stuff. If theyre smoking weed while its not drinking the sauce it will still impair their skills as a driver.

Have Patience
After all, theyre like your grandmother. A grandmother thats not going to badger you. A grandmother thats going to take your boozy jokes with a smile. Occasionally youll encounter a belligerent puck-hole thats along for the ride. Dont engage them. Let the BS theyre slinging roll off your back. Be tolerant, gramma.

About the Author:
Kevin Cintro has a history of billiards, darts and football, which is what lead him to writer for Amarillo pool hall. With eighteen locations over two states, Fast Eddies has become known as the ideal Sports Tavern and Social Club. After all at Fast Eddies, Life is Meant to Be Good!

Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com/Article/The-Designated-Driver-Guide/4274201

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