MOMfiaMarriage: Couples Therapy ? Not Necessarily a Bad Thing ...

Let?s be honest here: marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. Parenting is hard. Having a relationship with kids is hard. It?s actually no surprise to me that the divorce rate in the US is about 50%, because no one ever really talks about just how much work it takes to sustain a happy, balanced relationship. There seems to be an underlying feeling that if you are married, you are happy and if you?re not, you get divorced. But there is an in-between. There are highs and there are lows and there are periods of time where your relationship is just?there ? the difference is how, as a couple, you handle these situations.

Couples therapy definitely still has a stigma amongst married couples. It seems to be the ?last ditch effort? of the couple that desperately wants to be divorced but needs to at least be able to say ?they tried everything.? But what about going to counseling to ensure your marriage stays good? While I don?t normally delve too deep into my personal life, I will admit this: we go to couples therapy. And? It?s one of the best decisions we?ve ever made for our relationship.

Without going into details, we found ourselves in a spot where we needed help navigating our life together. Being that we are indeed, two separate individuals (as is everyone) we both have personality quirks that the other needed to understand. Additionally, we found ourselves having the same disagreement over and over. We were nowhere near divorce, but at the same time we wanted to address these issues before they turned into something more.

The counselor was helpful for many different reasons, but the main things was that she validated our feelings, helped us see things from each other?s perspective and helped us refine our skills of working?together to figure things out. While we are no longer in regular therapy sessions, we still use our counselor to help us get through stressful times. Most of the time we are on the same page, but need assistance on how to get us through the situation without turning on each other in the process. Our therapist is wonderful at just listening to us vent and talk it through, while giving us the encouragement and the tools to solve problems together as a team.

If there is one thing that I?ve learned in my (almost) 11 years of marriage is that it?s hard for everyone. And the people that appear to have the picture perfect relationship, probably don?t. Because no one does. Everyone has issues ? it?s how they deal with them together is the key difference.

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Source: http://sdmomfia.com/2011/07/momfiamarriage-couples-therapy-not-necessarily-a-bad-thing/

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